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Sara
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posted 7/16/10 6:22 PM
I have been with someone for 11 years..we have lived together in the past but we have taken a break from living together but are working things out and are engaged again. My issue is that when I met the guy I am with he lied to me and told me he was divorced and started living me and my kids 6 months after we met. After living with me for almost 6 months, I kept asking why I hadn't met his children yet and as he always did he said they still weren't ready after the divorce...having kids myself I left it alone and thought of his kids feelings...then I found out that he was not divorced when I met him and that he was still living with his wife and kids when he moved in with me even though it was more for financial reasons because their marriage was strained already....I WAS LIVID, THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO ME IF IT WERE FINANCIAL REASONS.....I THREW HIM OUT....then time went by and he and I started talking again and he brought his kids over to my house and I explained that I didn't intentionally ruin their home or marriage because I didn't know and with their blessing we got back together because at that point he and his wife were divorced by then. His wife is nice woman and I don't have anything against her personally but I feel that because he did her wrong and I was the reason even if I was unaware of it at the time...his family, his mother and even his kids never consider my feelings as his fiance even now after being with him for 11 years...longer then his first marriage lasted to her....his ex wanted he and the kids and her to stay in the same motel room when they all went to Columbus together for a pagent for his daughter...I was not invited....they drove up as a family...for his daugters college enrollment they my he picked his ex up and they went together as a family...his mother has told me that she will always be friends with her because she is the mother of her grandchildren and every year on x-mas eve or sometimes other holidays...his ex's gift to his mother is presented and opened in front of me so his ex is always with us and mentioned....my fiance's niece always has dinner with his ex, and his mother..when she visits from out of town...not me and my fiance....and just recently an 80th b-day party was thrown for his mother that his mother knew about and she was invited without anyone asking me if I would be uncomfortable with that...so she walked in with all of his kids including one he had with another woman because his ex still plays step mom to the child......and the kids all sat with his ex and not at our table......AM I CRAZY??? My friends and family tell me she will always play the victim and I will always be the bad guy even though I didn't know about her..so they treat me like my feelings shouldn't matter........I even received viruses from emails from his ex to me out of the blue and my fiance, his mother and his kids all stuck up for her and said it must have been a screwy computer thing because she wouldn't do that.....so I kept my mouth shut..I never care if I take a back seat for a function of the kids even now that they are 21 and 23 now....and I have never tried to get too close to his daughter because I have always tried to think of how it would make his ex feel and never wanted her feelings to be hurt..but it's getting rediculous now after all these years...his mother's 8th this past weekend she played hostess and passed out cake to everyone as if she was still his wife and part of his family as well...my family and friends were there and felt awkward for me....sincerely, second fiddle........
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