Author	Topic:   Being friends
Heidi	posted 2/24/05 0:26 AM     If an ex-wife has not moved on (emotionally, etc.) there is no possibility of being friends. I think once they've moved on and accepted the things they cannot change...then maybe there is a possibility of being friends. True or False???
Fed Up	posted 3/1/05 8:23 PM     In order to be friends you have to have 2 willing parties. If that can work out then great. It would be best for the child but unfortunately sometimes it doesnt work out that way. You can only try your best and if you don't succeed then at least you can say that you did try. I have been married to my husband for 13 years and we have 2 children together. He was married before and has a child from that marriage. His wife left him when the child was only 3 months old. I met him when the child was 2 1/2 years old. I had never been married before nor had kids when I met him. I should have been clued in from day one that his ex wife was a crazy piece of work. She decided to get a job next door to where I worked at that time and every where I went, she was sure to be there or either parked beside me. She didnt want him but yet she didnt want anyone else to have him. I have tried all these years to get along with her for their childs sake. I have stood back and let that woman curse me and down talk me. Each time I would just forgive her and act like it never happened. I finally figured out you can not teach and old DOG new tricks. She needed for there child to live with us for a year to help her out. We agreed on that and gladly welcomed her in to our home. But in only 4 months, we learned really quick that this was a child we could not allow in our home. Our 2 childre are still in elementary school & his child from that marriage is in high school. She was teaching my children things they shouldnt even be introduced to this early in life. She was very abusive physically to them and would threaten them. My oldest child came to me begging to send her back to her mom. So we did what was best for our children and sent her back to live with her mother. My children were scared to live with this girl. That is a terrible shame. Her mother has pushed my husband to the point that he can't take it anymore. He feels sorry for his daughter but she is way beyond the changing point now. She was such a lying and manipulative person the whole while she was here. It is amazing how much you can learn from someone when they live with you. She would tell us one thing and then go back and tell her mom something else just to cause turmoil. Of course she gets that honestly because her mother is the same way. My husband has decided to terminate his parental rights to his daugher. She has never respected him as her father and he didnt realize just how much until she came to live with us. She has a stepfather now and she thinks he is great which is fine. It is sad that my husband and her never bonded but now he no longer wants anything to do with her due to all the craziness that went on with her and our children in the 4 months she lived here. She even touched our 2 children inappropriately. That was the straw that broke the camels back. We sent her packing. We couldnt allow her to corrupt and violate our children like that. When you try to discuss it with her mom, she doesnt want to hear it. I do not speak to his ex wife anymore because I am tired of being verbally abused. It got to the point that every time I would see her number on the caller ID, i wouldn't even answer the phone because you never knew what personality you would get when you picked up the phone. Maybe she can finally form some type of bond with her stepdad. Good luck on trying to become friends with the ex. It would be the best for the child and when things were wrong you could actually discuss problems instead of the situation that we have had to endure.

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