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| Author | Topic: Message from the Founder |
| Libran |
posted 5/18/09 1:22 PM
Hello Everyone! I am the founder of this forum, and I'm very pleased that it is still up and running after all this time (the last time I checked here was about two years ago). Just some background; I founded this website six years ago (hence the kinda retro style, at least its easy on slow connections lol) when I was still a teenager. I did so as part of an emerging self awareness about my own psyche and upbringing, and the catastrophic spiral I was on. About six months after I created this site, I forstalled this exercise to undertake a most trying therapy regime. Six years, and many trials and setbacks later, I have finished therapy as of a few months ago. I'm pleased to say that, despite some enduring eccentricities, my therapy has been a success, and Ive come a long way from the conceited, obstinant, and grandiose performer I was when I went in. Now my life is in excellent order, my post-graduate studies are concurrent to my career, and accompanied by a healthy interpersonal connections to my ever widdening friendship circle. Special mention and endless thanks must go to my last therapist (yes I exasperated a few) who I consider not only a masterful practitioner, but quite a dear friend. To those who suffer from NPD and related traits, know that you need not surrender your uniqueness and identity through therapy. You merely become more holistic, and allow your strengths to improve your life, while embracing your frailties. It did take me an excessively long time, I was a most reluctant and uncooperative client for the first few years. There is no reason, however, that a committed person would not make considerably more progress in much less time. To those who have suffered due to people who have NPD... It is very difficult to deal with someone who seems so rationally irrational. That someone, who in many other respects can be charming, intelligent and confident, can for no real reason lie when they could easily tell the truth, or submit your needs persistently to their own without even the self awareness to take you into consideration. My best advice is to do what is best for you, but not let that experience dull your faith in human nature, not even the narcissist who has caused you such pain. I feel I've acquired much wisdom over the last 6 years, not the least of which is that all people are basically good, and that how people respond to their environments is largely a product of what has been done to themselves. Know that you should not condemn NPD sufferers for such weaknesses, for most have been wounded by abuses they are too proud to share. That doesn't mean you are obligated to deal with it though, indeed you aren't helping anyone by being an outlet for their disfunction. If they want to get better, they have to put in the work. Noone else can. It hasn't been easy. Far from it. But I am unrecognizable from what I was. Things couldn't be better. I love you all. xoxo Libran |
| Toto |
posted 6/7/09 1:29 AM
Libran: I am glad to hear that you had enough insight into your NPD to seek counseling. My mother has NPD. It really would be nice, if she were as willing to work with a therapist as you were. Still, your post gives me hope. |
| L |
posted 7/22/09 7:15 AM
Would be great if the forum were used more. Most N's aren't particularly aware of it. I finally figured it out in therapy after years of being treated for depression. If it wasn't for a long, long depression I'm sure I wouldn't know. |
| fooled |
posted 8/21/09 8:49 PM
Libran-- I don't often come here anymore as I once did but yes it was a simple website that you created years ago when "deckhandsdaughter" was on here as well as myself and a few others. I'm really glad to hear of your progress and wish nothing but continued success for you. I was pleasantly surprised reading your post. I am so happy for you and also thanks for this forum. It has helped some and some got ticked off and left never to be heard from again. Keep posting from time to time and let us know how things are going Libran. My life is a lot different than when I first came here in the beginning. Keep up the great work! -Fooled |
| Jaynie |
posted 7/9/11 8:48 PM
Thank you for the site and your honesty and I am glad that you sought help for your depression which led to the diagnosis of narcissism. You are a very rare person to have gone through the treatment and with the results you have achieved I congratulate you. I only wish the same could be said for my sis who is OCD, bipolar and narcissistic. At 54 and her 60 it has been a long difficult time in dealing with her which is something I realized in my teens and that was she wasn't all there. I won't pretend to know what the problem was then, but it was extremely hard to deal with her and because my brother was career navy and I career army she stayed in contact with us both, yet kept us apart by her lies but saying to each of us that she didn't understand why we couldn't communicate with each other. It wasn't until our brother visited a few years ago that he asked me how I dealt with her and it never would have crossed my mind that she had been treating him as badly as she had treated me. It's unfortunate that I am the only ones living as our brother died in 2009 that knows the truth about her. It is fine with me that there is the divide of the whole US between us as we both retired on the West coast and enjoyed a great friendship until he passed and she is on the east coast. Kudos to you and I am glad you caught it early. I hope as with anything you made amends with those you may have hurt if there was anybody. |
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