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| Author | Topic: I need advice, I am in a hard spot |
| sarah |
posted 2/24/09 5:13 AM
I need someone to help me understand what is going on with my sister. She is 30 and has told far out lies her whole life. Treated me bad, never wanted to her my point of view (lashed out if I gave it)unless it was the same as her's. I just lost my oldest sister in Oct. of last year,seemed like my other sister liked the attention she got from my older sister's death and shortly after said she was pregnant.Come to find out after 9 whole months there was never a baby! This is how I found out! 1. We thought it was strange there was no one with her at the hospital when the “baby” passed, and they would let her out so soon. 2. She has her boyfriend pick her up from outside the hospital…he never went in and they do not release you without signing you out after losing a baby. 3. We called the hospital and asked if she was there and they said she was never there.( I thought they may not give you that info. So I let that one slide) 4. She had no marks that night from an IV or anything 5.She had a black plastic bag she acted like it was the bag they give you to take home from the hospital (I asked the hospital and they told me theirs are white with draw strings) 6. She had no discharge papers and no bracelets. 7 We called the morgue of all the hospitals in the area and they had no baby by that name 8. She goes to my OBGYN and she told me she had a follow up appointment with my dr. and I called and said I was her to verify my appointment and they said there was none. 9. My mom went to her house to have a talk with her and she was irate and cruel to my mother and has not talked to her since 10. When I asked her she said she lost the baby in Jan. and got pregnant again in May (just before the shower in July) and lost the baby just after the shower and pretended for the rest of the time 11. She stayed at my house for 2 days “after” there was not one pad or bloody anything in any garbage can in my house. I looked on advice from a crisis hotline I called for help. 12 she spent 2 days hurting me and my kids with her lies of a fake baby and told my mom that she didn’t look at the baby because she remembered my mom telling her that is the worst thing for a mother to see,because my mom saw my older sister. 13. She has not said she was sorry to any of us or owned up to it |
| sarah |
posted 2/24/09 5:54 AM
Just wanted to add that it is important to me that I find a way to talk to her(she is not talking to me or my family right now)because she is all I have left. I was one of 3 girls and my older sister passed away in Oct of 07' Now I have no sisters and feel alone in this world. A lot to deal with so soon in life, I am 28. She also lost her job because she could not provide them with a medical release to return to work. So, to recap she cut off her family, lied to friends and family, did not return the things I, family and friends gave her for the "baby" (she said I was threatening her over used furnisher that is long gone) and I am still in debt because of the money I spent on this "baby" She has a full nursery in her home furnished by me and tells me that because I gave her my baby’s $500 crib (lightly if even) used, that it was USED, like I gave her crap. I gave her all I had and then bought at least $500 worth of new things for her baby. I guess I am hurt she won’t return these things to me because she wants to hurt me even more. I am at a real loss here. My mom is hurt most I am sure, she says I am all she has left now. |
| Jaynie |
posted 7/9/11 8:36 PM
Um, I know this is not going to be what you want to hear, but I am 54 and my sister is 60. We are the only ones left as our brother died two years ago and with my therapist advice two years ago to end the "relationship" with her, I finally did last month. I have been dealing with this in hindsight for 50 years. In short, they will never admit they have a problem and will spread to anyone that will listen that you do. I can't tell you that you are better off not speaking to her, but for myself; although it has only been a month and it was extremely hard for me to do in severing the relationship, I know I am better off. Before I knew it was narcissism, I used to refer to where we grew up as her Queendom. She sits on the school board and seems to present well to others, yet not only have I been disparaged, I am depended on to be the older sister and parent in private when she is stressed at very low levels of things that should stress her in my opinion. I call this her little girl self. To me, anyone that would listen to her for ten minutes should realize that she is highly inflated and that she blames externally. With her friends she talks so badly about them behind their backs, yet when they socialize she takes them down to a low level, advises them how to do better when there was never a problem in the first place and then throws them a compliment so they will think well of her and that she is confident. I have let her go and although I will be honest, I do have times when I think I should email her about this or that of some superficial thing; I remember how she projects her feelings and slights on to me, guesses what I am thinking and feeling incorrectly and becomes vile, vulgar and abusive and she was a teacher and a social worker. She didn't get picked up for tenure because she put her hands on a child and of course this is now not true and quit working to retire because of a diagnoses of mania--bipolar, but of course she doesn't have it and only kept the psychiatrist on so that she could get her pension and so forth. I am the only one living that knows the truth and there was nothing my brother or I could do because we were away having spent our careers in the military. We both suffered because of her. I know you feel that you are alone but don't live the life I have had to live in dealing with your sibling. Find good friends and don't waste a minute regretting it. Take care, Jaynie |
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