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| Author | Topic: Narcissistic destruction |
| G |
posted 1/16/09 5:19 PM
I have been totally crushed and abused by a N I dated for 2 1/2 years. He was charmng and handsome, smart and strong. I fell in love for sure. The only problem is that Narcissists can't make emotional connections. All I was to him was source of his Narcissistic Supply. He had no empathy at all and had no clue how he made me feel. Couln't relate to that at all. It was all about him. I walked on egg shells all the time. But....He took me to great places and we had a lot of fun BECAUSE AT THE TIME THAT IS WHAT HE WANTED. HE controlled everything. When he wanted to be a jerk, he was. He was verbally abusive to an extent and told me many, many, times "you got lucky when you met me". He would recount everything he every did for me & remind me of that over & over. He could only commit to the relationship just enough to satisfy me but remind me that he couldn't totally comit because he was still hurting from a previous divorce & not in a good place. I quess I was waiting for him to get past that so he would CHANGE..LOL...so all would be good. I felt I truly loved him. When the relationship got to the point he felt he had to take the next step & commit, he bailed...but not completely....he tried to convince me to stay ON HIS TERMS...casual (after 2/12 years). I resisted and we stopped communicating or so I thought. He continually texted & called me with no purpose just to see how I was (really to keep me hanging & make sure I was still pining away for him so he could come back if he ever wanted to). I waited 3 months without seeing him but getting these annoying texts etc. and than figured I had had enough. I texted him back & told him I was moving on & seeing someone else so if he didn't want to discuss a future together with me, then not to text or call me again...to please let me move on. MORAL OF THE STORY: THE ONLY WAY TO DRIVE A N COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD, TELL HIM YOU ARE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. The verbal abuse, rage, anger, belittling etc. I received at that one text was enough to put me in a depressive almost suicidal state that I am now trying to climb out of. He called me every name in the book and again reminded me of how I will regret this for the rest of my life, what a horrible person I am and how wonderful he is even though he hadn't seen me or intended to for over 3 months. SO, please know the signs of this horrible N thing so you can walk away at the first notice that he is evil! |
| beenthere |
posted 2/10/09 11:04 PM
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| AlmostFinished |
posted 4/11/10 9:58 AM
Everything you are saying I have been going thru exactly. His friends think I'm bad and unstable. Weirdly, I'm more bothered by what his friends think than what he thinks. |
| AlmostFinished |
posted 4/11/10 10:00 AM
Everything you are saying I have been going thru exactly. His friends think I'm bad and unstable. Weirdly, I'm more bothered by what his friends think than what he thinks. |
| AlmostFinished |
posted 4/11/10 10:00 AM
Everything you are saying I have been going thru exactly. His friends think I'm bad and unstable. Weirdly, I'm more bothered by what his friends think than what he thinks. |
| linda owens |
posted 2/27/11 7:16 AM
in a bad place |
| linda owens |
posted 2/27/11 7:34 AM
I totally understand everything you have been going through. i have just broken up with an N and my head is still in a spin. He told me i will be nothing without him in my life. i got told how many times a foot massage and fellatio would be appropriate every week and i dont care if it takes 3 hours, that is what i want. I have to learn how 'he rolls' or the relationship just won't work. in his fits of rage he would call me a slut, tell me how stupid i was, tell me i am such a retard because i didnt see his point of view. he didnt help people here in a flood crisis as he had "no emotional attachement" to any of the victims. he would drink a lot, and one week he said he would give up for a week. sends a msg on the first day and says he is going to have a beer with his mate. i sent back, its for you not me. i told him i had lost a little faith. he said i was a confused person and had i have asked the right questions he was only postponing the non drinking to the next day!! he gave up for 4 days then started again. he would fight when out drinking at pubs. get into arguments and not see or hear the other persons point of view. one day he was staring at this girl whilst i was sitting right next to him. i said ... being smart.. 'why dont you go talk to her' he replied ' just because there is a better looking woman than you over there i have the right to look at her, dont be so insecure.' his work was all a con. he wouldnt leave til late in the morining and come home early in the afternoons. a builder i have always seen does a hell of a lot longer work day than that. he woulf flip stories around so you would get confused as to what it was you were actually talking about. he definetly sucked me in at the beginning and i thought he would change. he is 35 and there is no hope for him. he will be a horrible disgusting man who treats people like shit for the rest of his life. He is a deadbeat and karma will be a bitch to him. i pity the next girl. |
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