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| Author | Topic: Robert burns |
| David Keeney |
posted 1/12/09 4:56 PM
This year marks the 250th birthday of Scotland’s famous poet, Robert Burns. What would he write about if he were alive today? Surely life and love, and the pleasures of drink and food, but probably not haggis. But what could be more Scottish than . . . McDonalds? Ode to a Big Mac Fair fa’ your burger, drink and fries As Regular or Supersize Above them a’ ye take the prize. Well are ye worthy, tho this song (I canna’ disguise) Is far too long The steaming, twin all beef pat-ties Your lettuce, pickles, onions, cheese Your bun resounds w’ sesame seeds And a Special Sauce. Filling a’ our lunchtime needs At modest cost! Whilst oe’r the bag will waft your scent. Our vision of the fries presents an artistry of condiments In ketchup swirls. Dewy drops upon the Coke condense Like amber pearls. We reap the fruits of fryer and grill, Always eat well past our fill, Suck hydrogenated oil, And couldna’ care less. The foods that all a’ fit to kill Taste the best! Is there that veggie - eating nerd Whose latte’- swilling ways I’ve heard? His lunches couldna’ fill a bird. It pines for worms! He’ll ne’er get clients he preferred To meet his terms. Poor Devil! His desk-bound weak appeals To customers, he fairly kneels. A salad’s no fulfilling meal. So there he’ll sit. Thru mergers, lawsuits, buyout deals, Oh, how unfit! But mark the Big Mac’Carnivore Whose steps are felt upon the floor, As he throws aside the door, Or Drives Thru. He’s the one that’s sure to score, Or likely to. Ye Pow'rs wha’ make man’s food your care, And bags us up our bill o' fare, America wants nae Vegan ware That grows in fields; But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer, Gie her a Big Mac Meal! Dave Keeney |
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