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Franklin K. Cassel
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posted 12/11/03 4:40 PM
My basic advise is as follows: I am no longer a caregiver since my wife died of Alzheimer's six years ago (see my little book Flowers for Peggy, One couples experience with Alzheimer's), but I learned much about the disease and how it can be managed and I am willing to share all that I have learned. It is important that caregivers learn all they can about the disease and that they help the patients with sufficient understanding as to just what is happening to them that so as to accept the diagnosis and be willing to develop coping techniques and paterens of living avoiding conflict. Since the patients are no longer able to create new memory and are loosing memory in reverse to its creation their reality is based on their live of years ago. To keep them happy you must not try to change their reality but allow them to live in their past. Distract them to things they like as you remind them of things in there past of which they can be proud. Do this and you will make them feel loved and still important. You will develop a love/trust relationship where they will want to do the things they ought to do, things you cannot get them to do by arguing or ordering. You will do well to remember the 10 Absolutes 10 Absolutes Never ARGUE, instead, AGREE.Never REASON, instead, DIVERT.Never SHAME, instead, DISTRACT.Never LECTURE, instead, REASSURE.Never “REMEMBER,” instead, REMINISCE.Never “I TOLD YOU,” instead, REPEAT.Never “YOU CAN’T,” instead, “DO WHAT YOU CAN.” Never COMMAND OR DEMAND, instead ASK OR MODEL.Never CONDESCEND, instead, ENCOURAGE OR PRAISE.Never FORCE, instead, REINFORCE(Jo Huey, Greater New Odlenes Patient and Family Service) FKCLearn all you can about the disease. Check out my home page and it's links. http://hometown.aol.com/fkcassel4221914/myhomepage/index.html You might find my little book “Flowers for Peggy” ($1.50) and my new Video “What everyone, especially caregivers, Should know about Alzheimer’s” ($12.00) Keep faith and God bless. Franklin
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