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s.mark jacobs
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posted 11/22/09 6:55 PM
i am hoping to find my daughter.her name is lauren f. jacobs.she is 18 now and i am hoping to somehow contact her.she lives ,i believe in upland.she went to high school at st.lucys' in glendora.i haven't been able to have contact wiyh her but i am hoping now that she is 18 and i am able to contact her legally that she may want to hear from me.if not then i'll have to deal with that,but if she does it would be a huge part of my life that iv'e hoped for so much for so long.if you see this lauren please know this,i have thought of you everyday since i last dropped you at your mothers.yhings went terribly wrong in my life soon afterwards.i guess i just couldnt handle it,so i didnt handle it well.how i wish i could have kept my wits about me but i couldnt.everything i did,anywhere i went would remind me of what i could not have and im wishing and have wished for a long time now that i had the strength to pull myself together and do things differently.i can only tell you that i always thought of myself as a very strong person.able to do anything i had a mjnd to.but baby when i couldnt see you all of my strength was just gone.i lost my ability to do about all i needed to do.if it wasnt for you being there somewhere for me to see somedasy i dont know what would have happened.all i can tell you is you may not believe this but you could never have been loved more by anyone ever.i wrote you thousands of pages of letters but never did what should have been done and got any of them to you.if you dont or cant understand i do understand.but Lauren Jacobs I LOVE YOU and always have.i'll write you again when i think of it which will be very soon.but right now ive got to stop.someone in your family must have told you that i loved you and was a good dad when i was able to be wiyh you.maybe tammy or donna maybe even your mom but im thinking that may not have happened.if i am able to hear from you it would be the most i could ever hope for just to be able to say "i love you ?to my baby.bye bye lauren .your dad ,or father anyway mark
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