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| Author | Topic: MARY SMILEY |
| PLM |
posted 5/18/04 6:34 PM
READERS' FORUM SEXUAL ABUSE CAN ALTER A LIFE FOREVER I lived years of silence, and never told anyone I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was 8 years old. Silence takes a toll. Dynamics are never silent. Years of shame cannot be described. Life becomes a continual search for dignity. The face in the mirror becomes a stranger. I never spoke of the sexual abuse until I was 45 years old. Mama and I were on her front porch. I still see the shocked look on Mama's face when I told her I'd been molested. He was her favorite brother. Then a family member told us that she, too, had been sexually abused by him. Love never dies. The warm summer evenings, backyard barbecues, and Christmas dinners rich with his laughter only served to confuse the picture. Could this smiling face across the dinner table be the monster who molested you? But moments don't detract from the horror of the molestation. Moments are a snapshot in time. He is long gone and in his grave, but the memory of the 8-year-old child, helpless against his strength, is the tragic legacy he left behind. Years of self-blame and humiliation became the pattern of life. We need to forgive ourselves. We cannot let it destroy the best we have to offer life. We need to remember we were violated as children, and didn't have the strength to fight off our attacker. God bless Michael Sallah and David Yonke for their stories of sexual abuse by the clergy. It helps to know victims of sexual abuse don't walk that road alone. The face of a trusted priest or of a favorite brother are the same: killers of the soul. Some of us go on to lead productive lives; sadly, some don't. MARY SMILEY Indianola Drive |
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