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| Author | Topic: pirate jokes |
| Katie |
posted 7/10/03 4:46 AM
Have you heard about the new pirate movie? It’s rated AARRRRGGH! And do you know why? Because of all the booty! How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing? A buck an ear! Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH! How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch! Did you hear about the pirate who scored 20,000 points for the Lakers? His name was Kareem Abdul JabAARRRRGGH! What is piratophobia? Fear of a sunken chest! What’s a pirate’s favorite country? AARRRRGGHentina! What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky! What Star Wars character is really a pirate? AARRRRGGH-2 D-2! What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him? His booty! What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner? A gAARRRRGGHnish! How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg! What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation? A cAARRRRGGH! (to which one member of the club replied, “So, um, what’s a pirate’s first favorite mode of transportation?” “A ship, duh.”) What kind of socks does a pirate wear? AARRRRGGHyle! What has 8 arms and 8 legs? Eight pirates! A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.” 8 a little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate." the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!" 9 how much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? a buccaneer 10 what's a pirate's favorite kind of cookie? ships ahoy 11 what do you call a pirate that skips class? captain hooky! 12 A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet." 13 why does a pirate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep? because he left it off the hook! 14 what does a pirate say when he takes over santa's job? ho ho ho and a bottle of rum 15 What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! http://www.angelfire.com/nd/rockstar this one |
| Katie |
posted 7/10/03 4:55 AM
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.'' All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.'' http://www.drpsychotic.com/jokes/jokes13.html jokes |
| Katie |
posted 7/10/03 4:55 AM
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates. Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.'' All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.'' http://www.drpsychotic.com/jokes/jokes13.html jokes |
| Katie |
posted 7/13/03 6:27 AM
pictures: http://us.imdb.com/Gallery?0325980 http://www.starpulse.com/Movies/Pirates_of_the_Caribbean/Pictures/index.html |
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